hm, match today. wasnt really happy with my performance. i used to spike nice balls, now. shit balls.. damn, wheres my skill? anw, won 2 lousy sets out of 5. nothing to be happy about. met audrey and vicki at BK with rurong, then left for home. realised there was no stay over, so i went hme lor. end.
off to watch my show.

hms, played ball with rurong and many stuff was sucked out of my head.
posted somewhere else, cause i want to. hahah.

 random thing from facebok. hahah.. i found most parts quite true, and i freakingly dont mean the goodlooking and sexy one -.-
anw, off the meet rurong regina and shannon to watch sorority row! buhbye (:

Its okay if u faced the reality of the world and cant take it. because thats what im here for. here to comfort u, and go through thick and thin with u. i may not be the ideal friend for u, like how i dont know how to face u when u're sad. like how i didnt comfort u at times, like how i never be there for u sometimes, like how i lose my temper easily.. but i'll try to be the bestest elmo u have, i will, try. whats most important is, i only have u one elmo, one. so i will do my best to keep u by my side. its okay to pour out ur fears,anxiety and sadness to me, because i want to be there for u. its okay to cry,it shows that u are worry over something. its okay to feel fear, it means that u have something to fight for. and yeah, im tall enough right? so my shoulder's always here for u to cry on. so dont worry if u have no one else, because i will be there. dont worry that u wont make it, because i have confidence that  u will. just go ahead and shade Q, and even if u dont make it, dont feel sad. because u know u tried ur best, and that u will do better in whichever class u end up in. like ur blog song, there are no boundaries. no boundaries for God, no impossibilities for God. Phillippians 4:13 'i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me'. even if one day, im not by ur side anymore, God will always be. He'll always be there for u, and u've just got to trust him. and yeah, if God has better plans and a brighter future for u, he will put u in the ideal class. just dont think too much anymore kkk? i want elmo to be happy, than i'll be glad. i hoped that we'll end up in the same class last time, now i dont hope so. because maybe God has different plans for us, maybe God will put us in the same class, maybe not. but its okay, because u have to still do well in that class. cause i got a feeling that u'll go the 3/5 and i'll at most end up in 3/3? idk. but i know that i wont want our friendship to end. let it continue, because now we're in different classes and we're doing just fine. do really pay attention to the verses i gave u k? because it made me slightly better. dont worry elmo, iloveyou (:

hm, spent the whole day doing nothing. im glad elmo's feeling better, i hope i do as well.  in any case, i watched DGM(fyi : D.grayman) for 2.5 hours or so, but only covered 4 episodes. currently at my aunt's house and am going to my counsin's house warming later just a few levels above. nothing beats a nice gathering for today.
okay, im back to watching dgm now. bye.

edit.
i just think that maybe someone needs to slap me soon. because i think i have not woken up. woken up to the fact that i can no longer take Amath. i still kept clinging on to that impossible hope that my CA and SA would pull me up till B3. i reallyreally desire to be in 3/5. but ofcourse, i'll have to follow what God plans..
someone just slap me to keep me awake.

Got my results back except 2, felt like crying like nobody's business but i didnt, i tired controlling but oni managed 80%. i treated training as stress release and smacked like nobody's business. thought that spiking well with a nice sound would help make me feel better, but i did not achieve any. that made me solemn and felt more pissed. immediately after volleyball was basketball, how nice.
i really had no mood at all to do anything.. even after shimin trained my lay up till so nice, i did it badly during training cause i reallyreallly had no mood at all,  and my bunion was killing me.. so, went to rest. skipped the dribbling part and stuff. finally joined them for some other exercises and did fast break, which was more enjoyable. The game was next, was okay but i felt so damn lost like one retarded ass. i played the back, which i had totally no clue of how to guard cause i always played centre, which was taken over by houyee.
coach scolded like mad but i was oblivious to it. because i didnt really care who he scolded..
i just left on a smile on my face anywhere. dont know what to expect next. really feel like consulting someone over my streaming stuff, but i just dont know who.. geez..

im just having moodswings, and i fucking hate it..
F U C K.

FINALLY exams are O V E RR.
but my math p2 was the same as p1. a lot of marks were gone..
anw, today was basketball madness, and loads of fun talking. and some unhappy ones, but overall was good.
elmo, i hope u'll think through what i said. cause its really true (:
so, loads of basketball and volleyball. and talking, and unglam videos of ms eleora. :P
anw, tmr's the sec four's graduation.. and im taking photos with D3000. whooo. heee... and i keep thinking that i should faster see facebook and faster blog before i go "study" i just keep rushing myself to do online stuff.. stupid, when i realised that i dont have to.. hahah!
alrighty, i've got nothing much to say... BYE.

1045
why the fuck in this world did i actually betray her trust?
why the F in this world did i actually believed that he knew?
why the F in this world did i do this to make her lose trust in me?
why the F in this world did i do this to make her angry?
why the F in this world did i do this to make her feel, perhaps hurt?
why the F in this world did i do this to make her feel embarrased?
why the F in this world did i do this half-knowing that she felt stress?

No amount of apologies can ever gain that trust back. why was i so stupid.
i only can live with it.

i fucking cant concentrate on maths now. wtf, whats the point of trying so hard..

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